Musa

BY Chinaya Brown

What will I do?

My muse has left.

And I can no longer see clearly,

Or write continuously unless she’s the subject.

I envision her in shades of blue

Synonymous with my melancholy.

Yearning for her return,

Yet aware she won’t be back.

The crime of fate feels worse than the crime she has committed against me. 

But what’s worse? 

My muse has disappeared

And I no longer adore her.

This feeling is worse than the death of us.

How can I lose regard for her?

She was grand and gracious in every breath

And I worship her every step.

I love her ferociously 

But I wish I didn’t.

Her beauty marks that I once kissed

So she can have more in a different life, 

That was one of my favorite qualities

Will never be kissed again.

Her smile I recognize in everyone

That told me stories with a simple smirk

That kept my eyes occupied. 

Will no longer be seen ear to ear.

Her cheeks that were full and pink,

But turn crimson in the heat

Making her youthful 

Have lost color.

The eyes that filled my dreams

Were russet brown

And held me captive as a prisoner to a cell

Have now gone blank.

Her lips that perfectly fit mine

Were as soft as her voice

But as desperate for mine like a stray for a bone

Have now grown cold.

Her hair that would find its way on my clothes

That grew lighter in the summer

That I ran my fingers through as she rested on my shoulder

Has lost its silky shine.

Her hands that warmed mine

Like a moth to a flame

And fit like a missing piece to a puzzle

Has lost the sensation of touch. 

Her arms that wrapped around me tightly,

Ideal for dancing with me,

That found themselves around my waist

Have now found their place by her side.

Her long legs that followed me everywhere, 

That were alluring to me

Have now led her the opposite way.

Her heart that made mine feel alive

And made me believe in love

I can no longer hear.

My heart is miserable

And questioning why I wasn’t enough

Since our first day

To fully have her love.